Thursday, March 30, 2006

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky...

This conversation came up in the car this morning. I pass a small, southern pet cemetary on my way to work each morning. I do. Anyway, 'J' and I got into the details of buying a plot and making 'arrangements' for a small pet such as a tropical fish. Using the influence of 5 full seasons of 'Six Feet Under' I decided that an altoids box would be the perfect final resting place. But NOT the kind that opens via door hinge. You need to find the kind of altoids tin that SLIDES open. That way, you can leave it partially slid open so that the family can achieve closure through one last viewing of their beloved fish. Then you can slide the lid shut in dramatic fashion and lower mr. fish into his final resting place, closing with some words about 'his great reward' or 'a big happy pond in heaven or fish-valhala with lots of fish and plants for him to fellowship with.'

This brings up my second topic: fishing! My dad will be sending me all my fishing gear so that, for the first time since moving to Memphi-stopheles, I can go fishin'. My problem is that despite growing up in a very outdoorsy household full of hunters and fishers, but I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN A FISH! And I love to eat fish, so this poses a problem: either I learn to gut and clean fish, or I throw 'em back. The 'catch and release method' seems to widely accepted as the most humane, but what if the fish are really opposed to that. As if being thrown back is humiliating and demeaning. Like a soldier who charges into the battle line only to come fleeing back 5 seconds later. Perhaps being caught is the fish's true accolade: Martyrdom!

Fish 1: "Gill gave his life so that we can continue to swim."
Fish 2: "All hail Gill, may he continue to swim forever in Great Fish Valhalla!"

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Rock Opera...

This update from Marjie:

"Good Morning,

I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm doing a production of the opera "Thamos" in Cleveland the weekends of May 12th and May19th. I can probably scrounge up some free tickets, so call me or email me if you're interested.

Also, mad thanks again to everyone who came to my reading. Your support and kindness are, wind beneath my wings. Hold on. I can think of something better than that. Your support and kindness are my marrow.

Thanks and Hugs,
Marjie "

Monday, March 27, 2006

Thought for the day...

"Fear not the flying hogfish nor the lesser dogfish, for they are Babylon's creators."

Thursday, March 23, 2006

In loving memory of Peepers...

Peepers was our chicken who lived to be like 7 years old. She had survived deadly winters, multiple stray dog attacks, bird flu, and more. But she finally met her end in an unfortunate interlude with the back of a Honda Accord. She was a wonderful pet and a dear friend. May you rest in peace sweet, sweet Peepers.

That was about 5 years ago. I now have a plan to bring her back!

According to page 58 of The Black Art of Necromatic Magic (Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts, 2001), the following spell may be cast upon the deceased:

"...can be cast to raise the dead or add new models to a unit...the new model will be armed exactly like other models in the target unit...can be cast once per magic phase with a range of 18 inches."

Now I know what you're thinking: What's this about other models in a unit? And armed with what? Well, Peepers was a chicken--she was never part of a unit and doesn't have any weapons, so I don't have to worry about that. What DOES worry me is that while we will regain our beloved pet, she will probably lead a 'life' of staggering around craving human flesh or brains.
So basically, I need to find a freelance master of the dark arts and hope for the best. Watch this space for updates.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Hungry are the Damned...

My week so far:

• I burned 3 fingers on my right hand in a 'lamp incident' at home on sunday. This makes working on a computer all day kind of difficult.

• It's very cold in Memphis, which is bad because it's also very sunny.

• J rear-ended a pickup truck yesterday. She's a bit bruised and sore, but otherwise okay. Her car on the other hand, is obliterated. We're waiting to hear how bad the damage really is.

• We missed yoga last night due to J's work schedule but will be going tonite. This could prove to be the turning point in the week. Hopefully things will go better for the rest of it.

"Noth there was, that dare the woode..."

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

And the winner is...


Dominic submitted this illustration "Angry Bean" (crayon, marker, on paper) and has now won the grand prize: something from my desk at work. Most likely it will be one of those autographed "Bobby Stickel" character cards from our new Universal Fighting System collectible card game, since I have like 800 of those.

Legal Notice: The artist deemed 'winner' surrenders all rights, creative license, royalty opportunity, and any other benefits hereto, hither, moreover, notwithstanding and nonsuch to OFFICIAL RUMORS, nowbeingwhich sole proprietor and licensee of "Angry Bean," its affiliates and cronies. All copyright, logos, images of "Angry Bean" are now registered trademarks of OFFICIAL RUMORS, all rights reserved by order of the royal crown of cola. The fact that the artist of "Angry Bean" is my nephew is merely coincidence and has no legal or binding anything to this competition or blog.

Great work, Dominic! Congratulations!!!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Today at work...

Today's ipod playlist...

"Incubation" Joy Division
"Friday I'm in love" The Cure
"Look for the silver lining" Chet Baker
"Mad World" Tears for Fears
"It ain't you" Squirrel Nut Zippers
"Fury Eyes" The Creatures

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Senjo Shu...

Today's rundown:

• Awoke
• Looked at my feeder so that I might get photos of the birds.
• Saw Klaus (purple finch, male, married) but could not get a photo.
• Gertrude (purple finch, female, married) was no where to be found.
• Went to work.
• Ate bad lunch.
• Updated blog.
• Though about going for coffee. Thought better of it-- I have coffee at home.
• Worked on new game logo that I'm not allowed to discuss on this blog.
• Updated blog.

Plans for tonight:

• Feed dogs
• Go to grocery store
• Check the feeder for more birds
• Eat something
• Clean up the place
• Bedtime

Fangs very much...

So I finished reading this book about a vampire. Basically, some guys in the book put some clues together and came to the conclusion that the main character was a vampire. What were the clues? Well the character's name was Lord Constanta (Lord being a giveaway in my opinion) and he hailed from Romania! More to the point, I took the obvious clues that one could be a vampire and thought... I KNOW someone like that!!! So let's put my friend (we'll call him Vlad) through the checklist:

• Is Vlad independently wealthy? YES!
• Does he have a permanent residence? NO!
• Does he come from a southeastern European country like Sylvania or something? YES!
• Does he have an incredible talent for charming/coercing/hypnotizing people (preferably women)? YES!
• Can he turn himself into any of the following 3 forms? Bat/Wolf/ethereal mist? MAYBE!
• Does he wake up really late and stay indoors for most of the day? YES!
• Is he catholic? NO!
• Does he always dress in black? YES!
• Is he on a special diet? YES!
• Is he kind to rats and spiders? YES!
• Is he most active at night, sometimes until 4 or 5 in the morning (just before sunrise) claiming that he is 'working?' YES!

My friend happens to pass this checklist with an astounding 95%! He is a vampire! No doubt about it. He is a certified creature of the night, a master of undeath and dark magic. He rarely sleeps. I couldn't lead a lifestyle like that, I would need a LOT of coffee!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Birds alive...

I don't have a photo of the purple finches that have been frequenting my feeder yet, but I have named them: Gertrude and Klaus. Photos soon...

Heavenly Nobodies...

Take no heroes,
It's no good
They don't stand up to you
Just take the bits you think that you can use
I remember when I was younger I thought the answers were locked in people
So I admired the ones whose lives were a source of envy to people like me
But do you really want to meet
The ones who write your dreams
Believe me, it's a fantasy
You won't like the reality

Monday, March 13, 2006

Budapest by blimp...

Crap. The updates have been coming slow, I know, and some of you are expecting care packages in the mail. Both will be resolved this week. Also, I have photos coming. Souvenirs from Japan, an archway that leads to nowhere, and more.

We have finally identified the birds that are frequenting my bird feeder: purple finches. How will they react to the disc of madness?

Spiritus Mundi,


Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Sleepwalking barefoot
Dangerous thought
In a looking glass ghost story
I wonder if for the first time
At the looking glass welcome party