Thursday, February 28, 2008

For Tom Kohler, who will totally appreciate this as much as I did...

Zinc Oxide and You...

A Pirate's life for me...

Yaaarrr! I've been hired as the Marketing Coordinator for Privateer Press (

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Satyr Tots...

Last night I watched 'Inside the Actors' Studio' with John Cusack (who is awesome). At the end of each show, host James Lipton asks each guest the same set of questions. The questionnaire concept was originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, after the Proust Questionnaire. Now, I believe I've posted this questionnaire before, but I'm willing to bet that my answers have changed from so long ago so I'm doing it again:

• What is your favorite word? Chaos.

• What is your least favorite word? Problem.

• What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Being unemployed (having lots of time on my hands)

• What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Routine.

• What sound or noise do you love? Thunder.

• What sound or noise do you hate? Traffic.

• What is your favorite curse word? Motherfucker (it's part of the show, mom)

• What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Chef.

• What profession would you not like to do? Carpenter.

• If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Your table is ready."

Monday, February 25, 2008

Reggae Mortis...

People in Seattle have this thing about using 'permanent' grocery bags. They're the kind made out of canvas or something that you reuse all the time. Here, grocery stores either give you a discount if you bring your own bag and some of them stopped supplying paper or plastic completely.
I agree that plastic bags are just awful. You can't even really reuse them for anything, except picking up dog crap. I suppose you can carry your lunch in them or something, but then you just look like you are carrying dog crap around, which is not a good look. Best case scenario, you pretend that you've packed dog crap for your lunch.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I went to the "Lib"...

So we went to the Library the other day. I hadn't set foot in one in over 15 years. Why on earth would I? I don't have any papers to write, I have the internet at home now, and any books that are any good already have TV shows made for them (or soon will).

Apparently, Libraries have to keep up with the times, or be swallowed by them. For instance, they decided to put their entire card catalog onto computers. Which is great, except that it doesn't change the fact that they still didn't have any of the books I wanted. True, computers are supposed to better manage their inventory, track what books are where, etc. but fat chance. Here are the searches I did, and their results:

Search: The King in Yellow
Result: MISSING (wtf?!)

Search: Great Exploration Hoaxes
Result: Check Shelf (I checked the shelf already. That's what you do when you want to find a book. IT WASN'T THERE!)

Search: Dracula, unabridged, Bram Stoker
Result: Dracula 2000 (VHS) due back 2/28/08

Search: Vegetables
Result: Did you mean "Veggie-Tales"?

Come on, you cankers. Don't make Mamma beg.


We like to do things the "unemployed" way around here. Feel free to print this checklist if you'd like to try this at home.

[ ] Crappy black T-shirt
[ ] 3rd cup of coffee
[ ] Coffee mug from weird, artsy 80's tv show
[ ] 'Forgot' to shave for a week
[ ] Internet connection (courtesy of the neighbors)
[ ] Decent cache of wheat thins and gatorade (staying healthy is important, kids!)
[ ] Birds on the feeder

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Job Title...

Well, the votes are in and thanks to all who participated. Seems like most of you made the sensible decision to invest wisely. You should all start your own companies now. My new temporary job title is "Domestic Engineer." My job is to take care of dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. It's a job, dammit! Except unlike YOUR jobs, I can't just clock-out at 5pm. I don't have a "quittin' time." Speaking of mothers, my mom has asked me to refrain from using "bad language" on my blog. While I disagree with her reasoning ("it isn't nice, and no one wants to read that") I do agree that I should be setting a better example for my younger readers. So here's an example for you: If Grandma sends you a birthday card with $15 million in it, put it in the bank and invest wisely. Also, don't get into a lawsuit with Lucasfilm. Those guys are serious!

So here's to Moms everywhere! My mom was a stay-at-home-housemom, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just look at how I turned out!

The job hunt continues...

Thanks Natalie, you've made my day...

This cartoon reminds me of The Aforementioned Markian, who, while we were in collidge (sp?) together had a Dr. Pepper and Little Debbie snack cake for breakfast every single morning. Then he almost became diabetic. Hope you're eating better these days!

Friday, February 15, 2008

New Poll...

Official Rumors wants answers! Take the poll to your right...

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Every hour wounds, the last one kills...

Ah, here's a bit of the update. I no longer work at Hidden City Games. I am back to square one, unemployed. Yesterday, my 'new employer' let go of 20 people (approx. 23% of their staff). So I just got here, and now I'm out of a job. How did this happen?

1. Hidden City was awarded $15mil worth of investment money. This was probably supposed to last awhile. They spent all of it in three months. Our CEO admitted that no plan was put into place for the money, and no one was policing it.

2. Sales did not meet the projected targets that were set forth for 2007. Therefore, expenditures had to be reduced to the amount of revenue that was actually generated (again, way short of the planned goal). So where's the accountability? The guy who did all the forecasting and sales for 2007 STILL HAS HIS JOB! And his boss and 19 others including myself, don't!

3. Lucasfilm has filed a lawsuit against our CEO's other company (GenCon).

Qua le fuck?

Off to find a new job...